Friday, January 6, 2012

Facebook or Mombook?

Yes, my first posting is going to be about facebook. A nice easy introduction to the world inside my head. My friends and family know I post to facebook regularly, maybe a little too often.  I admit that probably I bombard my poor facebook friends with a little too many postings.  I post photos of my family, usually daily (or sometimes a few times a day) updates about my life.  Or I post about things that either make me happy, or frustrate me, or if there's some sort of social injustice I want to bring to my circle of friends and family.  Sometimes I will just post a quote that I identify with, or something that I hope will bring a bit of happiness into another person's life.  Sounds like what facebook is about right?


So, as I have been thinking about blogging for a little while now, I decided to post the question to facebook:  'should i blog & would anyone read it?'. Several people were excited to be able to read into more of my life than facebook status allow. Great, I think,  my energies may not be wasted.  A couple agreed that they thought they were already reading my blog, basically indicating they felt I posted too much on facebook about my life already.  Also making me assume they can't stand my constant updates and also makes me wonder why they continue to.  Anyways, my view is, if you don't like it, then don't read it.  A very simple view on the matter.

Now, you must understand my history on facebook. I remember the person who told me about facebook.  It was a co-worker, Desiree, who said to me via good old msn messenger one day, 'haven't you heard about facebook?".  I think it was in 2006, and the majority of my online social time was done via email or msn messenger. Thinking about having photos online or being in contact with people I hadn't seen since I was 10 years old, was not something I would have thought of.  Desiree sent me an invite, and it interested me, but it wasn't a huge thing for me at first.

Then I had to take time off work due to a motor vehicle accident in early 2007.  I also adopted my first daughter in April 2007.  The nature of my injuries resulted in my not going back to work as of even today.  I became isolated. All my friends were working and you have to understand that I had been either going to university or working since I was 18 years old.  I always had an outlet to 'talk' or express my views on issues whether it be in school or with co workers or friends. But, when you don't work, you not only lose that connection but you lose your friends.  Working people and staying at home people are two different types of people that don't usually connect very well unless they have already had that relationship for a long time.

My parents and siblings then moved to Kamloops from Richmond.  I decided to remain living in New Westminster to raise my daughter. I really hated Kamloops anyways, and there was no where to shop :) so there was no way Kamloops would do it for me.  Facebook became a way of me connecting with my family, and showing them the progress of my daughter via pictures and status updates.  It was very handy and very cheap.

As the years went on and I did not work, the isolation became more severe.  I eventually moved to Kamloops to have the support of my family, especially after adopting my second daughter. I found it difficult to connect with people in Kamloops, as it's a small city where everyone knows everyone else and are quite comfortable in their social circles.  Ask anyone who has not lived here for more than 10 years and they will tell you the same.

So facebook became a way of connecting with old friends, old schoolmates, old coworkers and finding new friends with similar interests. I have found a lot of support on various issues in several different facebook groups.  For example, I am a member of an adoption support group for adoptive parents of FASD children in BC.  It has provided me with unlimited support in raising my girls and I have actually made some very close friends as a result. The 'adoptive mom's', as I so lovingly call them, are like a member of my extended family even though I have not met any of them.  I can always count on them for support and am very grateful for them all.

Over the past five years or so of being a facebooker, I have noticed there are three types of people on facebook.  There are:



1: Stalkbookers:  They friend you but don't have anything on their account. Sometimes they have no profile pic, some have a picture of a cat or other cute animal, and they never post a status. Yet sometimes, they will bring up something you said on facebook in normal conversation.  You end up feeling violated.


2. 'FACEbookers:  These people will have a profile pic.  They will also have a few extra albums now and again.  Once in awhile they will post a status update.  They pretend they are not on facebook everyday like the rest of us, but eventually it comes out that they know too much about what's going on in everyone else's life just like the rest of us. It's like they are two faced.

3. Mombookers: (this is me) Mombookers are very identifiable.  They are always online, until about dinner time. They post status updates about their kids or partners, and have tons of pictures of their kids but few of themselves (cause they are always taking the picture). You always know when someone goes on maternity leave because they suddenly start appearing on facebook a lot more. Not only that, is that you are subject to viewing birth pictures, usually including the first breastfeed and the first picture holding the baby when the poor mom looks like hell.  



4. Proudbookers:  Finally, these are those that do not fit the other categories and are regulars on facebook. They post very often, whether it be a funny picture, a status update, a link.  Just think of the teenage friend you have on your friend list.

So now, I ask YOU to be honest about yourself. Which one are you?  Stop trying to be aloof and pretend facebook is not that important to you because we all know that facebook is becoming the next form of communication for people. I am certain 'facebook 101' will eventually become a human service course within the next ten years. It is not necessarily a time waster, it serves a much needed purpose for stay at home moms/dads, people on disability, retirees, socially awkward people, socially anxious people etc.  It can be a positive experience.....






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