I have a four year old who abuses me.  No one would believe that it is NOT the result of her environment, or trauma, or bad parenting.  Perhaps one would think I am exaggerating.  Trust me, I'm not.  I get sworn at, yelled at, kicked, punched, hit, and told "NO" constantly.  Sometimes I am told "I hate you mommy, I don't love you anymore".

Yet, in the community or at daycare she is an angel. I get compliments on what a wonderful, sweet, caring, compassionate little girl she is.  She is always getting awards at daycare for being so helpful and kind to her friends, yet, when I ask her to put her laundry in the hamper, I get nothing but name calling, and other hurtful things said to me.

Miss Sedona has a very good attachment, which has become a very hot topic in the child development/child psychology world in the past 15 yrs or so.  They say it helps the child grow up to be a 'functioning' member of society.  So if she has a good attachment, one would think she'd be prone to being NICE to her main attachment figure (me).  Apparently not.  Apparently, it's because she feels safest with me that she feels she can let it all out on me.

Still makes me hurt. I might understand the reasons why, but it hurts when you put your life and soul into this little person that you DIDN'T bring into this world and they say stuff like that.  Sometimes it makes you wonder why you got involved in the first place.

Sedona has never been exposed to domestic violence, does not watch violent tv, or any of the other things they say you shouldn't let your kids do or see.  She has had all the early interventions I can possibly think of, including very expensive musical development lessons since she was six months old.

Sedona is also very anxious, and I know this is where part of this comes from. She is on medication for anxiety and likely has a mood disorder on top of that (perhaps bi-polar but they won't diagnose kids with bi-polar in Canada). She holds it all together all day long, then explodes on me.  It's rarely a day that goes by that she doesn't say or do something just plain mean or hurtful to me.

But I love her with all my heart.  I guess that is what unconditional love is about....showing that you care about someone no matter what they do.