I have problems with memory (both short & long term), concentration, fatigue, chronic pain and some language/speech problems. I have been told I won't be able to return to work as a child protection worker ever. I've known this for a few years now, but it hit home last week when I was sent for a vocational assessment to see what sort of career I can do, if any.
At the end of the day, I was beyond exhausted. I couldn't imagine working a full day, much less a job where you actually had to use your mental/emotional faculties. At this point I actually REALIZED that I will not be able to return to the career I had previously; the career I worked so hard to obtain. I'm not sure if or when I will ever work again.
I worked very hard to become a child protection social worker. My undergrad degree took 7 years to complete because I worked full time, was very chronically ill with ulcerative colitis and had some major setbacks. However, I always have prided myself that I made it through that period and secured a good job and a job that I was really looking forward to advancing in. My goal was to become a team leader for the ministry of children and family development, then possibly move over to an Aboriginal agency. I had supportive team leaders that were willing to help me obtain my goal. Although the job was stressful, I had no intention of leaving.
I've been off work pretty much since my first accident. There were many attempts to get me back to work, but none of them ever panned out. For many years, I felt worthless and this contributed to major depression. It's not easy to be at home, not working, living off of 'long term disability benefits'. Yet, I had came to accept that to some extent. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I could try another area of social work and or possibly get higher education.
The vocational assessment hit me hard because it made me realize how difficult it will be for me to get back to work or even re training. I do not know the results of the assessment, however, somehow I know it's going to be depressing.
I am now a different person than I was prior to the accident, it's hard to admit. I have lost that person I used to be, and have no idea how long it will take to get back to that level I was at previously. I may not ever, and that scares me a lot.
At the end of the day, I was beyond exhausted. I couldn't imagine working a full day, much less a job where you actually had to use your mental/emotional faculties. At this point I actually REALIZED that I will not be able to return to the career I had previously; the career I worked so hard to obtain. I'm not sure if or when I will ever work again.
I worked very hard to become a child protection social worker. My undergrad degree took 7 years to complete because I worked full time, was very chronically ill with ulcerative colitis and had some major setbacks. However, I always have prided myself that I made it through that period and secured a good job and a job that I was really looking forward to advancing in. My goal was to become a team leader for the ministry of children and family development, then possibly move over to an Aboriginal agency. I had supportive team leaders that were willing to help me obtain my goal. Although the job was stressful, I had no intention of leaving.
I've been off work pretty much since my first accident. There were many attempts to get me back to work, but none of them ever panned out. For many years, I felt worthless and this contributed to major depression. It's not easy to be at home, not working, living off of 'long term disability benefits'. Yet, I had came to accept that to some extent. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I could try another area of social work and or possibly get higher education.
The vocational assessment hit me hard because it made me realize how difficult it will be for me to get back to work or even re training. I do not know the results of the assessment, however, somehow I know it's going to be depressing.
I am now a different person than I was prior to the accident, it's hard to admit. I have lost that person I used to be, and have no idea how long it will take to get back to that level I was at previously. I may not ever, and that scares me a lot.
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