Why can't this lovely, cute, adorable 3.5 yr old HAVE A SHOWER????  Why can't she even come look at the shower while it's running and see that it is not some monster that is going to eat her soul??  Why does everything have to be so dramatic with her?

These are my thoughts about 45 minutes ago. Dove is 'odd'. That's the only way to describe her.

I woke up early to a beautiful blue sky, thinking about how the girls could play outside for a bit this morning while I put together my new bench for the entrance way.  Then later on, it is my mom's birthday, so I had plans to get the girls dressed in their new dresses to go for Grandma's birthday dinner.  I had lovely visions for the day.  Yet, for this day to happen, the girls needed to get clean as they were both dusty and dirty from daycare.

Now, my lovely girls have this irrational fear of the shower. They want baths, and I'm not sure why.  I NEED them to learn to be able to take showers for my own sanity.  Sometimes you need to just be able to throw them in the shower, wash them down, and that's it.  Both girls are special needs, and I've assumed all this time that it's probably a sensory issue; that perhaps the shower hurts their skin too much, or they just don't like the sound.  I'm also a firm believer that if something is interfering with your day to day life, you need to face it head on.

So, my mission today was to give a quick shower so we could get on with our day.  I brought Sedona in the shower with me and she realized it was not so bad.  I then asked Dove to do the same.  You would swear I was asking her to jump into a black pit filled with poisonous snakes.  She wouldn't even approach the shower to LOOK at it. Screaming, yelling, crying. If I didn't have a decent relationship with my neighbors, I'm sure they would have phoned the police.  By the way, I have told the neighbors my girls are adopted and have some special needs, and I believe the neighbors understand that they get crazy sometimes.

I eventually forced Dove to get in the shower.  Maybe I'm a mean mom.  Or maybe you could view it as a mom trying to help her child overcome barrier in her life.  Regardless, she stopped crying once she was in, and saw that she wasn't going to die.

I don't know what exactly is up with Dove but she does strange things. I believe she is on the autism spectrum, however, it is likely she won't get a diagnosis.  Girls tend to either NEVER be diagnosed with autism, or don't get diagnosed until much later.  My sister wasn't diagnosed autistic until she was 13 despite being taken to almost every professional in BC.

Dove doesn't know how to play with toys unless directed, doesn't understand how to properly interact with peers (mostly Sedona bosses her around), has a few strange obsessions and irrational fears. There's lots of things that are just odd or off with her.

Yes she has LOTS of positive qualities.  I'm just struggling to see them this morning.  And I vowed to make this blog as real as possible, so there you have it.  I DON'T always 'like' my kids.  And that's is OK, as I still have unconditional love for them.